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Your Support System at the End of a Long Relationship

Getting back into the swing of things after the break up of a long relationship is no easy task. Often just getting though the day requires acting as though all is well, when your reality is much different. Finding support that bolsters your ego, helps you through the quagmire of emotions, allows you to mourn, and then helps you wipe the tears away and smile again will get you back on the track of feeling good again.

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Your family should be your most steadfast support during a time when your world spins out of control. It’s easy to hide away and not get out into the open all the feelings festering within. Sit down with your parents, if you’re lucky enough to have them close by. Explain what happened to the relationship. Be honest with them and yourself. Your brothers and sisters know you as well as anyone. You share a common history that no one else in the world does, including your parents. If you have one sibling that you’re closer to than others, talk to her first. At the beginning stages of a break-up you need to talk, get your feelings out, and you need not just a listening ear, but someone who will give you a hug, hold your hand, and tell you how strong you really are. If you have children they should be the last people you talk to. Adult children may be good listeners and be wonderful support, but younger ones will not understand your pain and sorrow.

Good friends will hold you up when all else falls to the wayside. Rely on friends to be there for you. Allow them to step into your life as listeners and nurturers. It’s not easy accepting the fact that at times we need help. We need someone’s shoulder to cry on and we need someone to take the reins from us and be the driver for a short while. There’s no shame in calling your best friend at 2am because you can’t sleep and all you think of is the partner that no longer warms the bed next to you. If you’ve been there for close friends in the past, they’ll be there for you when you need them in return.

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try to get over a long relationship, depression sets in and family or friends cannot help you. When you begin to feel as though life isn’t worth the effort and your state of mind affects your health, job, and life in general, it’s time to seek professional help. There’s no failure in recognizing the fact that you can’t go it alone. A professional will guide you through the process of getting on with life without a significant other. You’ll gain perspective by being candid with the psychologist or psychiatrist. In turn you’ll receive tools to help you move forward. Don’t worry about how long it takes because it will take as long as it needs, perhaps a few sessions or perhaps months. You’re ultimately in control of your own well-being.

The end of long relationship is just that, it’s neither the end of the world nor the end of you, although it feels like it. Don’t be fearful of being seen as weak if you ask for help. Assistance and support is there for the asking. Family and friends create a strong network of support; allow them to nurture you during this time of sadness and loss. Use the world of mental health professionals to get you moving forward if all else fails. Keep in mind, the best revenge is living well. Seek out your resources and begin living better than you ever have all on your own.


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